Ways to escape the morning-after

After getting naked with him last night, you've woken up to the smell of a fry up. He's clearly still working his charm. But with one eye half open so you can pretend to be asleep if he comes back into the room you're planning your escape. I know. The morning after can be utterly cringe-worthy! Which is clearly why well over half of women want to make a speedy exit after a one night stand.³

Whilst you may now realise he looked a lot better in dim lighting, doing a runner simply isn't an option, ladies! If you're plucky enough to have sex with someone you don't know very well, it means you're big enough to be upfront with him. Treat him how you would like to be treated. Always be kind. And no, being kind doesn't mean giving him a fake number. You have to combine kindness with directness. Most men don't pick up on subtleties. If you're not interested, tell him what a great time you had, but this is where things end for you. Really. He'll appreciate you not playing games.  

If you think the man in bed could be someone you might like to date, ideally you should still leave his place after the fling has been flung. It will give you a greater chance of starting the dating process with some good old fashioned courting. If you're in your 30s this kind of deferred pleasure will make sense to you. But if you're in your 20s and reading this, your romantic love bubble probably hasn't burst yet. And you're likely to want to ignore me.

So if you insist on saying yes to brunch, the first rule is to check your make up isn't half way down your face. Secondly, over your cappuccino, keep the conversation casual. This isn't the time to be talking about your hopes and dreams. Save that for the first real date. You know. The one where a phone call precedes it. And yes. Call me old fashioned. A phone call is the only way you should be saying yes to a date!

If you've done what some consider to be the decent thing to do and let him stay, there's a good chance you'll be fretting about how to get him to leave. Try not to worry. Don't over analyse it and follow these steps. If he's in your bed and still snoring, get dressed, bring him a glass of water (a tea won't do here, as he will only have to wait for it cool down), and tell him your parents are coming over for the day, so he needs to leave. Don't miss off the he needs to leave part. Or else you'll find yourself with an extra lunch guest. Once he's out of the door, wash the sheets and have a confessional with your best mate.  

Waking up next to someone you don't know may feel incredibly intimate. But you may be faking it, without even knowing it. Here's the thing: when you orgasm, your body produces oxytocin. This so called hug drug makes you, as a woman, feel attached to the person you've just slept with. That's why after sex some women feel needy – wanting to meet up again or asking for some kind of commitment. What's shocking is all of this can happen even when you haven't stopped to ask yourself if you even like him! The solution: have a taxi company on speed dial. After some post coital friendly chit chat, order it. Then make sure, whether you're at his place or yours, one of you leaves in it.

One night stands are for women who feel comfortable enough to express their sexuality with a near stranger. This means they're not for everyone. A quarter of women³ say a one night stand leaves them with an empty feeling. But the chances are, any feelings of loneliness existed before the no strings attached sex. Sex is simply the vehicle which has got you in touch with your vulnerability.

Being in touch with your feelings isn't always an easy option. But it's useful to sit with any sadness, so you can move past it. If you find yourself in someone's bed and you regret it, don't hold back. Have a good cry. Yes really. Acknowledging your own feelings and then expressing them will soothe you. Then write a list of 20 things that make you feel safe, secure and loved; and give yourself one of these gifts each day. Next, with your best friend (so she can remind you how loved you are), have a girly heart to heart. And spoil yourself with some chocolate. Why? Because chocs (the darker the better) contain the feel good chemical phenylethylamine (PEA). This so called love cocktail is exactly  what our bodies produce in the early stages of dating to help us feel attracted to a partner. Which is why, if you're feeling lonely, I would always recommend choosing chocolate over a one night stand to make yourself feel better!